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Mayan Hotel, Imperial City, Coruscant
Taren Lunceford rummaged through a dusty old drawer, fully intending to clean it out that day, when he found an old holo at the bottom. Curiosity compelled him to pull it out, blowing dust off of the two figures. A sad smile crept on his lips when he realized it was an image of his younger sister Helaine and her Master - she had sent the holo with her letter. Upon closer inspection of the holo, he felt a chill run up his spine. The girl, Lainey, had his sister's blue eyes, as well as her same small physique, hair color, slight smile... Taren froze. It was no wonder he had recognized Lainey at the state dinner. She looked so much like his sister. Lainey, the girl who had no recollection of her past, was found in carbonite.
Taren shook his head. It wasn't possible. His little sister had died decades ago during the purges. Yet, they never received word of her death. Lainey's name highly resembled Helaine... and she had reacted strongly to the letter he had given her.
Was it possible that she had been alive this whole time, frozen in a block of carbonite? Taren closed his eyes. He had been the only person in his family to actually meet Helaine, having run into her on Coruscant. He couldn't remember for the life of him what she had been doing there. About all he did remember of her was that she couldn't go back with him, and she was slightly nervous. A couple years later the purges came.
Taren winced inwardly, remembering the turmoil that had erupted in his family the moment it was announced that the Jedi were a hunted group, outlaws to be killed when seen. His father had searched for her, only to be killed by a trigger-happy stormtrooper. His mother was murdered while he was away from Naboo just for bearing the last name "Trillium." Soon after, Taren was whisked away by a refugee group where his name was changed and he got a new life in the heart of the Empire: Imperial City, where he had lived for years pretending not to mourn his family.
Could his sister really be alive? He had to see Lainey.
***
Taren visited his grandson Jariath first, seeking Lainey's whereabouts. He carefully evaded Jariath's questioning about why he wished to see her, not wanting to reveal anything until he was certain she was his younger sister, his much younger sister.
After Jariath gave him directions to the lounge where he'd dropped Lainey off to meet with Master Skywalker, he made Taren promise to tell him the reason why as soon as he could. The halls of the Jedi Headquarters seemed surprisingly empty as Taren headed for the lounge, causing him to wonder what was going on. He knew there were internal problems eating at the core of the Jedi caused by one Kyp Durron, but that was about of all he was aware.
Taren approached the lounge slowly, his heart racing from the prospect of what he was doing. He slowed his steps, wondering if he was crazy. He hesitantly walked into the lounge, noticing a group of teenagers occupying the couches, while Luke Skywalker stood by the far wall, hugging a brown haired girl. Taren's chest tightened, she was Lainey... or Helaine.
The most recognizable teenager, Anakin Solo, took notice of Taren first. "Do you need something?"
"I want to... see Lainey," Taren replied, slightly nervous.
Anakin's face darkened. "Why?"
"I want to talk to her."
Glancing over at Lainey, Anakin shook his head. "I don't..."
Taren held up his hands. "I'm not going to hurt her. Please."
Having noticed the newcomer, Lainey moved away from Luke, studying Taren with her all too familiar eyes. Only now they lacked the innocence he'd observed the last time they had met. She squinted at him. "We've met before."
He nodded. "Yes, Helaine, we have," he said softly.
Lainey stepped toward him. "You know me by name," she said, tilting her head curiously.
"You went by Helaine when we met," Taren replied, feeling light headed. She is my younger sister. "Where did you get the name Lainey?"
"Valin Halcyon gave it to me," Lainey said, turning to look at Luke as though she sensed the shock that widened the Jedi Master's eyes. She hesitated. "Something wrong, Master Skywalker?"
Luke stared, then blurted out, "You knew Valin Halcyon?"
Startled, Lainey nodded. "Yes, I knew him. He was only a few years older than me."
"I always thought that the Corellian Jedi were a separate order," Luke mused.
"They are, they just liked to try to show us up in competitions," Lainey said, smirking slightly.
Luke grinned. "That doesn't surprise me." He cocked his head. "What brought you two together?"
"He wanted to learn how to fight fancy," Taren answered softly. Lainey froze, sending him a questioning gaze. "You wrote that in the letter you sent home."
Surprised, Lainey stared at him, her eyes seeming to pierce through his own. "Taren?"
He nodded, their eyes meeting in the same awkward way they had about fifty years ago. Helaine hadn't even considered the possibility that anyone in her family had survived. Palpatine had been very thorough in his search. She cocked her head, taking a hesitant step forward. "How did you survive?"
"Changed my name, moved to Coruscant."
"And our parents?" Helaine pressed.
Taren bowed his head. "They didn't make it." He shook his head.
Helaine winced, sensing the deep pain he still felt from their death. She felt echoes of it in her own heart, for parents she'd never known but of whom she'd always dreamed. Part of her felt guilt for the fact that learning of their death was less devastating than her Master's.
But she had known Taren. Acting on impulse, she closed the distance between them, tentatively giving him a hug. "I'm glad you made it."
He squeezed her. "I'm glad you did, too."
Helaine noticed the others discreetly leave the room as she moved back to look up at her brother. Almost gingerly she touched his age lined face, realizing for the first time what she had missed during the almost fifty years she had slept. Her eyes welled up with tears. She had known that almost fifty years had passed since her Master died, but actually seeing it was far worse.
Taren, alarmed, didn't know what to do but hold her tight. "What's wrong?"
Helaine shook her head. "Nothing, it's just that..."
"I'm so much older?" Taren suggested softly.
Helaine could only nod slightly, as yet another awkward silence fell over them. They hadn't had much to say the first time they met, it hadn't helped that Helaine had been worrying the whole time about how actually meeting one's family was severely frowned upon. Now, the gap of fifty years stood between them. Both had changed immeasurably, but neither missed the fact that they had been given a second chance as brother and sister. It was then that Helaine willingly broke tradition by promising herself that her family would play a far more important role in her life than ever before. When Taren broke the silence by idly mentioning she needed to meet his son and inform Jariath of the relation they shared, Helaine felt the Force stir in her breast, whispering that she had taken her first step toward understanding it better.
Still speaking, Taren had taken a more serious tone. "I'm glad I found you again, Helaine, and that you're safe."
Tensing, Helaine said, "Yes."
Frowning, Taren pulled back to look at her. "Aren't you?"
"Certainly, while I'm on Coruscant."
His frown deepened. "But you plan on leaving," he stated.
Helaine nodded. "I have to," she hesitated. "Master Horn is missing."
"And Luke Skywalker will allow it?"
"I hope so," Helaine replied. "Taren, it is my duty as his Padawan. If it were me, Master Horn wouldn't hesitate in going."
"I know," Taren sighed, touching her hair. "I just don't want to lose you again."
"You won't," Helaine said, echoing Master Skywalker's words of comfort to her. "The Force will guide me as it always has."
***
Mayan Hotel, Imperial City, Coruscant
Night had fallen on Coruscant by the time Armand Naberrie got out of his meetings, while his father and Lady Daris visited Julie and toured the city. Armand clasped his hands behind his back, watching the air traffic of Imperial City run past the Jedi Headquarters building. He didn't know how he had gotten through all the meetings of the day, but he was glad they were starting to work toward relocating the people of New Naboo. The fact that Baron Lairde Batista had disappeared settled a heavy rock in his stomach - he knew there would be trouble there - but he couldn't be certain what or when.
All thoughts of the Baron and New Naboo disappeared when he thought he could feel Lainey's warm gaze meet his. Blinking, Armand tried to fight the sudden ache in his heart that threatened to overwhelm his senses. He should have expected her to pull away from him as she did - he kind of expected she might - but it didn't lessen the pain any when she had. Politics had trained him to mask his emotions with a serene exterior, and he had tried to keep it the moment she told him she could not love him. He knew he had lost her then, but instinct forced him to fight until he saw that it hurt her too much. Her tears had made him angry, not at her, but at the Masters who forced her to hurt herself this way.
To hurt me.
Rejection was something Armand had never known as a prince. Perhaps it was a lesson he needed to learn, though he would have preferred it at a lesser expense than his heart.
And Lainey's.
Closing his eyes, Armand thought of the only girl he had ever loved. Lainey was a lot shorter than him; her head barely reaching his shoulders, which made dancing and hugging difficult unless he held her tighter. Kissing her proved even more difficult unless he pulled her close or lifted her into his arms. Her figure was small, almost delicate looking, but when he held her he could feel the firmness of a well-toned body. She was gentle by nature, usually soft spoken, but she fought with a deadly warrior's grace. Her dark blue eyes were beautiful and deep, filled with a strength that could carry her, and anyone else, through anything.
In each other, they had a found a humorously romantic aspect to their titles, giving him a lighthearted outlet when his responsibilities seemed too heavy. As befitting the roles of Prince and Knight in Shining Armor, they had rescued each other at the State Dinner. He having apparently saved her from an undesirable dance partner, while she had easily taken his mind off of the unpleasantness of his conversation with President Fey'lya.
His eyes still closed, Armand wondered if she knew how much of an influence she'd had on his life in the short time they were together. Going from prince to spaceport supervisor had certainly been a humbling experience for him, but she had shown humility while holding a title that commanded respect. She had even tried to bring him close to her level by mentioning that the Force could and did influence his life as well.
Armand had told Lainey he would take her advice to heart, and he did. From the moment she told him I can't, then tried to give him back his necklace, his mind and heart waged war against each other while he debated her offer to give it back. Through the midst of the conflict, a tiny string of peace had threaded its way through the battle, gently whispering that as long as she wore the necklace, there would always be hope for them.
Resting his head against the cool transparisteel, Armand opened his eyes to focus on the Jedi Headquarters building, sending a silent plea to Lainey to always wear his necklace.
Because through it she held his heart.
***
After meeting with Taren, Helaine went into her dorm room, wearily curling up into a ball while she allowed her thoughts to turn to Master Horn. She couldn't believe how close she'd grown to him in a few weeks, or even how easily. It suddenly dawned on her that she loved him as she had Master Caine. Master Horn had been there for her since she first woke up, rescuing her from her frozen prison. At that time, the phantom ties of a Master\Padawan bond had started to form. She found this strange now, because he had been born sixteen years after her, but the Force's intentions were clear. Helaine had always known that Master Caine loved her, but she was always strangely detached when it came to Helaine's possible Knighting, almost as if she didn't think she would be there to see it. In the back of her mind, Helaine had been vaguely aware that that probably meant she would have a second Master, but never chose to acknowledge it. Conscious ignorance didn't save her from the grief of Master Caine's death, or the guilt in finding comfort from Master Horn's presence.
And he was in the hands of Valdemar.
Jedi stoicism fought to keep her face straight, and shoulders from shaking, but exhaustion won out as a quiet sob escaped her throat. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she allowed them to flow without hesitation. Soon, she fell into a light, dreamless sleep.
By the time she woke up, night had fallen over Coruscant, giving her room an almost grayish glow. Sleep had given her a break from the endless questions that wandered restlessly through her mind, seeking answers far beyond her level of understanding. The moment she opened her eyes, clarity came slamming back into her head, inviting the riot of thoughts and emotions back into her once content mind.
The sounds of air traffic and lights reflecting on her walls drew her attention to the transparisteel window, which gave an excellent view of the Mayan Hotel. The familiarity of speeders and aircars rushing reckless toward their various destinations provided a tranquil holo for her to watch while she tried to sort out the events of the past fifty years. About the only thing she knew of the Rebellion with the Empire was that her Master had fought in it, and Master Skywalker was an officer, who went AWOL to train under Master Yoda.
From the questions Cianna had asked, and the blank, but curious attitude Master Skywalker held toward the word midichlorians, she knew Master Yoda had left that part out of his training. Why he had was a daunting question. The first lesson taught to every Padawan about the Force was of the midichlorians' symbiotic relationship with the Jedi. The midichlorians were the messengers and carriers of the Force, determining a Jedi's raw power in the Force. Somehow, knowledge of them had been completely eradicated from the Galaxy.
So why had Master Yoda chosen to keep the secret?
Biting her lip, Helaine worked her way through the question, finding the answer so fast and abruptly it caused her to bite hard enough to draw blood.
It was dangerous.
Because of midichlorian testing, Palpatine was able to track down every potential Jedi registered in the Republic whether they had trained or not. It was in their medical records. Even though the records were supposedly confidential, Palpatine no doubt had access and kept a careful eye on those with midichlorian levels of four or five thousand. The result was death to all men, women, and children that showed any potential. The midichlorians provided a reason for why Jedi were different than other sentient beings, and made it easier for their opponents to find ways of blocking them from the Force.
Ignorance concerning the midichlorians had served as protection for years until Valdemar showed up again. Although he knew how to block a Jedi without ysalamiri, Helaine felt that the knowledge would die with him. So, Master Yoda had been wise in not explaining the origins of the Force to Master Skywalker.
But there were less than a hundred Jedi now, and potentials were researched through genealogical links to the Jedi of her generation. The problem with this was evident to an Old Republic trained Jedi, who knew that the only Jedi who married and had children were Corellian. She wondered how many dead ends Master Skywalker's researchers had run into, and how frustrating it was to find so few candidates. Helaine was fairly certain the number of Jedi coming to Coruscant would increase rapidly if midicholorian testing was reinstated. Every child born into the New Republic could be tested, without taking up more than every Jedi in the Order's time.
All those tested, even those who refused to train, were at risk for another purge, and could be tracked just as easily as those killed in her time. Frustrated, Helaine rubbed her temples, deciding, finally, that it was not her decision to make. It was Master Skywalker's, and whatever he decided she would support.
Slowly, her dark blue eyes traveled upward from the air traffic to rest on the Mayan Hotel, feeling a sudden jolt that filled her with a loving warmth that raised chills up her spine. Thoughts of Armand invaded her mind, intoxicated her senses, and deepened the carefully controlled ache in her heart. For a brief moment, she stretched her arm toward the window, brushing the cool transparisteel, entertaining thoughts of closing the distance she herself had forged between them. His arms had always been impossibly warm and gentle, his touch soft and electric, his eyes incredibly deep and kind.
He was devastatingly handsome, seemed to know it, but didn't use it to his advantage. He was powerfully built with an air of propriety that would make him seem unapproachable, if it weren't for the warm smile that formed easily on his lips. He was a born leader, bearing a commanding presence when necessary, and a congenial one among friends. He was perfectly confident without straying into arrogance.
He was capable of anger, but wasn't a slave to it. Compassion drove him to help the people of New Naboo, seeing and loving them as his own people because of their loyalty to their homeworld.
Although he was an avid talker, he was one of the best listeners Helaine had ever known. It was no wonder she fell in love with him, despite the fact that love was forbidden, but she'd never understand why he had fallen for her.
Princes belonged with girls like Nadia: tall, beautiful, and confident. At the very least, Armand deserved someone who could love him in return, without feeling guilty. Who wasn't constrained by laws that had been forgotten and abolished decades ago.
Helaine closed her eyes for a moment, remembering how good it felt when she was openly in love with him. She had never felt more alive than when he took her in his arms, or more blissfully content than when he kissed her. Her heart wondered how such feelings could be so wrong, when they were natural for everyone else; her mind struggled to remind her that it was because of who she was, and what love had done to Anakin Skywalker.
Shuddering, Helaine's fingers guiltily found the charm on the necklace Armand had given her. If he had only yelled at her, shown more anger than the brief flash she had sensed aimed at someone other than herself... There had been no accusation in his tone when he said goodbye, and only deep pain in his eyes that he chose not to inflict on her by turning away. Helaine winced, bowing her head. Why did it have to be someone as incredible as Armand that I had to hurt this way. Why did he have to love me as deeply as I love him, if not more so?
Opening her eyes, Helaine stared at the azure stone, watching the reflected light cause it to shine. He had given the necklace to her as a token of love and remembrance. If she had been stronger in her convictions, she never would have accepted it. Helaine knew she should give it back to him. Holding on to it meant she might once again forget everything she had been taught and give in to her feelings once more.
Her shaking hands moved to the clasp, fumbling to release it when her heart tightened so hard she could barely breathe. Tears came to her eyes with the realization that removing it was like choosing to give up Armand entirely, even in her heart where no prying eyes could see.
And under the layers of guilt, conviction, and fear of the unknown, she knew that she could never completely eradicate or replace Prince Armand Naberrie in her heart.
Copyright 2003 by Luney.
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