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Jedi Headquarters, Imperial City, Coruscant
The first rays of sunlight crept in through the small dorm room’s window, swept across the soft blue carpet, and climbed across the two sets of bunkbeds, mildly disturbing Lainey’s already restless sleep. In response to the soft light, she rolled away from the window, burrowing deeper into her covers. She was already drifting out of short terror filled that dreams that would fade as she regained consciousness, becoming less than memories, but more than empty thoughts.
If they were dreams. If the thousands of presences crying out and vanishing in the Force were mere figments of her imagination, concocted by the deep pain she still felt over her nameless master’s death. If the figures lurking in the shadows of every scene where death occurred were fabrications of the darkest regions of her mind where fear lurked. If.
A soft knock on the door disturbed her sleep once more. She flipped over facing the window, her eyelids fluttering. The knock grew louder, accompanied by a distinctly male voice. "Girls?" Corran Horn called out. "Are you decent?"
Squeaky bedsprings answered him. Sighing, Corran palmed the door open and walked in, his hand over his eyes. "I’m coming in..."
"I’m going to uncover my eyes, so you better be covered up!"
Corran cautiously removed his hand, both relieved, and annoyed, to find four peacefully sleeping teenage girls. He padded across the floor towards his apprentice and leaned over her bottom bunk bed. Her head was turned from him, exposing her long sleep tangled hair. "Lainey," he said softly, touching her shoulder. She flinched away, curling up into a tight ball. "Lainey!" he said louder, brushing her hair away from her neck and pressing his cold hand against it. She jumped, tossing over to get a look at her assailant. Her blue eyes blinked, for a moment not recognizing him. Corran frowned, concerned by her reaction to him.
Finally her sleep hazed mind registered his identity. "Master?" he asked groggily. "What time is it?"
"Time for you to be up," he replied.
"Why?" Lainey grumbled, burying her head beneath her pillow. Her sleep had been anything but restful, and she resented Corran for waking her up. Just a few more minutes, or hours, would surely do her a world of good. The sun had to have just barely risen, the morning felt new, and early, very early.
Corran tugged the pillow from her hands and off her head. "Because Master Skywalker wants to meet with us in ten minutes." He checked his wrist chrono. "No, make that eight minutes."
Lainey groaned, covering her head with her hands. "Why so early?"
"Because he used to be a farmer, and has grown used to being up with the sun, if not before," Corran answered simply, tugging the blanket off her. "Now get up!"
"Give me five more minutes," Lainey pleaded, grasping for the blanket.
"Sure." Corran let her grab the blanket. "But you’ll have to go in your pajamas, and tangled hair."
Lainey emitted something in between a growl and a sigh into her mattress. "Fine," she said grumpily and rose to a sitting position. "I’m getting up."
***
Ten minutes later
Corran had been waiting patiently by the door while Lainey got dressed, wondering what could possibly be taking her so long. He’d woken her up in plenty of time to get ready, and they were already two minutes late! He was debating whether or not to knock on the door for the fifth time, when Lainey exited the room She was dressed in cream colored pants and a white shirt. Her hair was freshly combed, with her long slim braid hanging over her right shoulder. Ever since he’d met Lainey, Corran often wondered why she did her hair that way. She never took the braid out, and looked at him like he was crazy when he suggested it. She was staring at him, raising one eyebrow as if questioning his thoughts. He gave her a smile in answer. "Good morning."
Slightly taken aback, she mumbled, "Morning."
"You all ready?" he asked, though it was obvious to him that she was.
Lainey’s head shot up. "If I wasn’t, would you give me more time?"
"No." Corran grabbed her arm, and started leading her down the hall. "We’re two minutes late already."
"Sorry," Lainey sighed, rubbing her eyes. "I should have woken up earlier."
Corran wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close to him. "Probably, but I can forgive you this time."
"You better." Lainey elbowed him. "Because it’s your fault for not waking me earlier."
"What are you talking about?" Corran asked as they neared the Skywalker apartments. "I woke you up in plenty of time to get ready."
"Ten minutes, Master!" She pulled away from him to get a good look at his face. "Has the fact that I am a girl escaped your notice?"
Corran stopped suddenly, turning so he could face her directly. "No." He frowned. "Why do you ask?"
"Because you only gave me ten, no, eight minutes to get dressed!" Lainey responded, exasperated. "I need at least a half hour to shower, dry my hair and fix it so it looks decent."
Corran held up his hands. "Okay, okay, I get the point." He shook his head. "I had no idea you were so concerned with your appearance." Lainey’s blue eyes widened, and by the hurt expression on her face, he knew he’d said something wrong. "I mean..."
"You mean, what?" Lainey snapped, folding her arms. "That I’m ugly?"
"No!" Corran said firmly. "That isn’t what I meant at all."
"Well." She glared at him. "You insinuated it!"
Corran was about to protest, but remembering arguments with Mirax when she was moody- thought better of it. Instead, he placed both of his hands on her shoulders, locked gazes with her and said, "I’m sorry."
She nodded, casting her gaze to the floor.
"And I don’t think you’re ugly. Far from it, in fact." He gently lifted her chin to get her to look at him. "You’re a very pretty girl and..." he began, then noticed that her eyes were bright with tears. "Are you okay?" he asked in alarm.
"Yeah." She took a deep breath. "I’m just... tired."
"In a Hutt’s eye!" he exclaimed. "You don’t cry just because you’re tired."
Lainey swiped angrily at her eyes. "I’m not crying!" she protested, a soft sob escaping her throat.
"Yes, you are," Corran said in a softer tone, pulling her to the side of the hall. He pressed his hand to her cheek. "Do you mind telling me why?"
Lainey shook her head, looking at anything but him. "It’s nothing."
"What kind of nothing?"
She sighed, this time looking him in the eye. "Bad dreams, that’s all."
Corran frowned, scanning her tear stained cheeks, and searching her wide blue eyes. There was fear behind them, deep enough that he didn’t need the Force to see it. "Were they just bad dreams, Lainey, or bad memories?"
"Dreams," she answered immediately.
Holding her gaze, Corran placed his hand on her shoulder. "You’re sure?"
"Yeah," Lainey replied, then quavered under his stare. "Maybe." Her shoulders slumped. "I’m not sure."
Corran nodded thoughtfully. "What happened in them?" he asked gently, hoping it would be a clue to her identity; as long the dreams weren’t too bad.
Too bad? he questioned himself. She was scared, fighting back tears, and he hoped her dreams weren’t too bad? They had to be horrible, and if not... he’d grossly misjudged her.
Lainey shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Don’t we have a meeting to get to?" she asked in hopes of changing the subject.
Corran wasn’t going to let her. "Master Skywalker will understand."
"There’s not much to them." Lainey let out a long, shuddering breath. "Just a lot of darkness, and death." Her hands subconsciously found her braid, and she began toying with it. "I didn’t see much of anything. The dreams were kind of like an overwhelming feeling." She gave her braid a sharp tug, making Corran fear she would pull it out. "I think that’s what made it so bad."
Corran nodded, squeezing her shoulders. Once again he found himself wondering what could possibly have happened to his apprentice. Just how much death and darkness had been in her dreams, or more probably, her memories? She didn’t mention anything of her former master, so he had to assume they weren’t connected to her. Or was Lainey subconsciously hiding that fact from him?
Lainey was calming down now, without much help from him. She touched his arm, her eyes still puffy from crying, but dry. "Can we go now?" she asked in a pleading tone.
"If you’re up to it," Corran replied, though he already knew what her answer would be.
She nodded. "I am."
"Okay." Corran locked gazes with her once more. "But the next time you have a bad dream, I don’t care how ridiculous it is, I want to hear about it. Without hesitation, understand?"
"Yes, Master." She offered him a slight bow at the waist, which he might find mocking from anyone else her age. But from her, it was a gesture of acceptance and respect. Her former master had trained her well.
***
Luke Skywalker tried unsuccessfully not to pace while waiting for Corran Horn and his apprentice, Lainey, to come. They are already ten minutes late, and it wasn’t like either of them. Ben lay on the floor, his head lolling around to track his father, until Luke caught his eye and gave him a smile. Ben grinned in return, then turned his head in search of his next prospect. Mara wasn’t even trying to hide her impatience; she tapped her foot and very noticeably checked her wrist chronometer. Cianna and Ganner occupied the Skywalker suite’s couch, sitting as far away from each other as possible without making it obvious.
Luke stopped his pacing to study them for a moment, his lips pressing into a firm line. He was concerned about the couple’s relationship, especially considering the tangible sexual tension emanating from them. Being that they were both close in age and Force sensitive, helped them grow even closer and be more attracted to each other. They seemed to fighting it, but Luke wasn’t sure that was a good thing. His gut instinct told him that it was not a good thing - that Cianna was too young for Ganner, and that they both had their whole lives ahead of them. The Force however, whispered ever so softly that their blossoming relationship was right.
Regardless of his Force intuition, Luke was still concerned about them. Cianna’s dark blue eyes suddenly lit up, and her lips formed a beautiful smile: Ben had found a captive audience. Luke had to grin; he found himself doing that a lot lately, especially when people smiled at his child, or told Luke how cute his son was. Pride swelled in his chest as he watched Ben finally release Cianna, and try his new rolling over trick. He could do it without fuss now, and was even starting to inch. Luke couldn’t wait to see him crawl, to walk. Despite the warnings he received from Han about the kid being a menace and getting into everything, he just loved watching Ben grow. His son was absolutely amazing.
Luke was shocked out of his reverie by the sound of Mara laughing. Puzzled, Luke turned to look at her. "What’s so funny?"
"You," Mara snickered, than cleared her throat, gathering her composure. "You, farmboy."
Luke raised an eyebrow at her. "And what’s so funny about me?"
"Well." Mara sat back, a smirk growing on her lovely lips, twisting her expression into a smug look. "I can say that you’re no wide-eyed farmboy anymore."
Luke folded his arms. "And just what am I?"
Mara’s smirk grew into a wide grin. "A wide eyed father," she said.
"Oh really?" Luke questioned, taking a step towards her. "Are you implying that you’re not a wide eyed mother?" Luke asked, then gave her a wink. "I can track your thoughts just as easily as you do mine, Jade."
Mara opened her mouth to reply, just as Ben let out a loud wail. Saved from answering Luke’s insinuation, she took to soothing Ben, who had grown frustrated with his lack of momentum. In that same moment, Luke felt Lainey and Corran outside the apartment’s door, a kind of worried tension surrounding the two. Luke knew something bad had to have happened. Concerned, Luke rushed to the door to meet them.
Cianna Darklighter had to smile at the banter going on between Master Skywalker and Mara concerning their child. Seeing how Master Skywalker acted towards his wife and baby somehow...humanized him, bringing him down from his Exalted Jedi Master position. Cianna watched as he rushed to the door, following his back until she could no longer see him, and her eyes fell accidentally on Ganner. His face was turned from hers, giving her a view of his profile. His strong jaw was set, forming his usual calm, firm expression on his face. His dark hair was cropped short, and Cianna could see just a hint of the long scar threading down his face.
Her eyes fell from his profile to his broad shoulders, down to his muscle-sculpted arms and back. It was all she could do to not reach out and trace her fingers along his arm, lay her head against his shoulders..., Cianna blinked repeatedly, tearing her gaze from her Master to the floor. Why had she been cursed with a Master who was not only terribly attractive? Why did she have to give her heart to him in secret, knowing he couldn’t possibly have the same feelings for her.
And yet, she could swear he had almost kissed her last night. His lips had hovered so close to hers, his eyes burning into hers... and he kissed her forehead. Her forehead! The type of a kiss a father would plant on his child. Was that how Ganner viewed her? As a child? Cianna’s lips quirked in irritation. It seemed that the only appropriate way he could see her was as a child. She sighed and leaned back against the couch, folding her arms across her chest. She could feel Ganner’s eyes on her, burning into her right cheek. She resolutely chose not to meet his gaze, choosing instead to watch Ben chortle as he shoved his fists into Mara’s mouth, probing her teeth. Cianna couldn’t help but smile as Ben’s laughter grew into a low-pitched squeal, and Mara pulled his hands from her mouth.
Cianna’s attention turned to Master Skywalker as he re-entered the room, followed closely by Corran Horn. Trailing exactly one step behind and to the left of Corran was a blue eyed woman with long dark brown hair striped with shocks of gray. Her lips were traced with laugh lines, and her eyes crinkled at the edges; she had to be in her sixties. Cianna’s mouth dropped as it dawned on her that this was Corran’s apprentice, Lainey.
Having never met Lainey, Cianna had pictured someone at least younger than Corran himself. Cianna blinked and shook her head, then glanced at Corran’s apprentice again, and froze. Standing behind him was a teenage girl, with red rimmed eyes and a serious expression hardening her soft features. Cianna rubbed furiously at her eyes, wondering if what she’d seen was a trick of the lights. Corran had turned to them after greeting Mara and the baby, resting his hand at the small of Lainey’s back. "Ganner," Corran said, clasping Master Rhysode’s hand. "How have you been?" he asked with an easy smile.
"Good." Ganner returned his smile and pumped his hand.
Corran released his hand and turned to Cianna, offering her a grin. "And how’s Cianna?" He nudged her arm. "Is Ganner giving you much trouble?" he asked with a wink.
Cianna laughed lightly and shook her head. "Not too much, Master Horn."
Corran grinned, and dropped an arm around Lainey’s shoulders. "Have you met my apprentice, Lainey?" he asked, giving her shoulder a squeeze. "She’s about your age, Cianna."
Cianna shook her head and offered her hand to Lainey, who grasped it with her small, wrinkle free hand. Cianna wondered how in the galaxy she could possibly have mistaken her for an old woman. "Pleasure too meet you," Cianna said pleasantly.
"You too." Lainey offered her a ghost of a smile.
Cianna tried to match Lainey’s voice to the scream she’d heard in the vision, but Lainey had spoken too softly. Lainey cast her eyes to Corran, who introduced her to Ganner. Lainey must not have seen Ganner offer his hand, or she chose to ignore it, and offered him a slight bow instead.
Corran shook his head at his apprentice’s formality, then slapped the side of Cianna’s knees. "Mind scooting over a bit there Cianna? Lainey and I aren’t that small." He indicated the leftover space on the couch, which was only big enough for one person.
Cianna flushed and scooted graciously aside, careful not to brush against Master Rhysode. Lainey sat down beside Cianna, with Corran to her left, his arm still resting across her shoulders. Cianna felt a slight twinge of envy at how comfortable the two were around each other. Of course Corran was married, and the distance between him and Lainey was over 20 years so their relationship resembled more of father\daughter than...whatever Cianna’s and Ganner’s was. She couldn’t figure it out, and Ganner certainly wasn’t helping. Luke had stood to address the group now, explaining why he’d called such an early meeting.
Soon, too soon, Master Skywalker gave her the floor and she gave a short description of the vision she’d had. The third time around was much easier; she didn’t even shake and had learned to calm the fear that rose up her spine. Silence followed her speech, as her words sank in.
Corran had turned to look at her, his elbows resting on his knees while his hands cradled his chin. His eyes pierced through hers. "I need more detail here," he said finally. "Did you see the suspect’s face, or get a good view of where the murder took place?"
Cianna shook her head. "No, their faces were hidden in cloaks, and the room was covered in shadows."
"So it took place indoors," Corran stated, seeming to take a mental note of that. "How about a motive? Did you get a sense of that?"
"No," Cianna began, then was interrupted by Master Skywalker.
"Corran, her vision was vague, lacking in detail. I didn’t ask you to come here to investigate," he said gently, holding up his hands. "What I need is Lainey’s insight, her memory of her former Master’s death. I believe that her case is similar to Manuel’s by the manner of death in which they were forced to watch each other die, as was Lainey was forced to watch her Master’s. Cianna also heard a female’s voice echo Manuel’s mother, only replacing it with Master."
Corran nodded slowly, subconsciously rubbing Lainey’s arm with his right hand; Lainey’s eyes had fallen to the floor. "The cases seem similar yes, Master Skywalker. But there is one big difference: Lainey lived, where Manuel did not."
"Yes," Luke agreed. "We need to find out why her life was spared."
Corran bobbed his head in agreement, but his attention was focused on Lainey. He gave her a gentle nudge. "Lainey?"
Lainey let out a long breath, and straightened up, lifting her chin up as if gathering courage. "What do you need me to do?"
Luke took the chair across from the couch and rested his hands on his knees. "I need you to remember all that you can about your Master’s death. Specifically why you were frozen, instead of being killed." He paused to catch her eyes. "Can you do that?"
"I’ll do my best, Master Skywalker," Lainey said calmly, though she was shaking inside. The urge to complain and pity herself lurked within her also, threatening her desire to help Master Skywalker. Not only had she been woken up at an un-Forcely hour, her dreams had been plagued with nightmares and deaths that ached her heart, and she couldn’t remember why. Now, Master Skywalker was once again asking her to relive the moment in her life that had been so horrible, her mind had counterattacked by simply forgetting, but her heart had not.
Lainey took a deep steadying breath and closed her eyes. Cautiously, she traced her memories through the five days she’d been at the Jedi Headquarters, trying not to linger on the lighter aspects of those few days. All too soon, she found herself facing the darker than night mental barrier she’d erected, hesitating at the tendrils of fear escaping from the black tunnels within that teased and mocked her fragile courage.
She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t face the pain of her former Master’s death again. She couldn’t handle the horrors of memories past. This barrier was here to protect her from harm, and she shouldn’t try to break through it. Hadn’t she suffered enough?
Determined to avoid unnecessary pain, Lainey began to back away from the wall, drifting towards the happier memories of life in the Jedi Headquarters with Master Horn. A sudden familiar, reassuring presence touched her mind then, gently urging her back towards the barrier she’d been escaping. Lainey reached out to her Master, this time actually being able to touch him with the Force. She sensed him glow with pride at her minor accomplishment, and she couldn’t help but feel happy also.
Empowered by her Master’s presence, and her ability to feel him through the Force, Lainey headed back towards her barrier, mentally clinging to Master Horn as she did so. Thankfully, he didn’t pull away. Slowly she pushed at the barrier, hitting rockhard mental cement.
Deciding she should probably start smaller than regaining her whole memory, she focused on what Master Skywalker had asked her to do: Learn why her life had been spared. Keeping her focus, Lainey pushed at her barrier again, this time slipping through far enough to see a woman, whom Lainey instantly recognized as her former Master, have a credit chip pressed into her hand by the killer - his back was unfortunately turned to her. With a sigh her former Master tossed it, and it landed on the ground tails up. The killer turned to face Lainey, but the details of his face blurred. "Tails, the apprentice lives," he said in a deceptively smooth voice. Lainey thought she could make out a smirk as he continued, "So the Padawan kills the Master, and the Master saves the Padawan. Interesting."
Her former Master opened her mouth to speak, but Lainey was too horrified to stay inside her memory. Her blue eyes opened in a flash, and tears splashed down her cheeks. She started shaking, unable to look Master Skywalker in the eye. "I killed her," she whispered, hugging her arms against her chest. "I killed my Master."
She felt shock ripple around the room, before Corran cupped her chin in his hands and turned her face towards him. He stared deeply into her eyes, using his thumbs to rub the tears streaming down her cheeks. "No, you did not."
Lainey shook her head, trying to break free from his gaze. "But..."
"But nothing," Corran said firmly. "You tossed the credit chip, it landed heads up, so the killer decided to murder your Master. You did not raise the weapon and slay her yourself, Lainey."
"I tossed it though!" Lainey choked out.
"Lainey," Corran said softly. "The toss was random. You had no intention of killing her. And you didn’t," he stated seriously. "That is what the Killer wants you to believe, so that he can harm you spiritually as well as physically. Sociopaths do as much damage to their victims as they possibly can, reveling in the pain they inflict on them.
"The killer would love to hear you blame yourself for your former Master’s death, in fact, he’d be overjoyed because it means he won, he broke you." He pressed his hand against her cheek. "We can’t let him win, can we?"
Lainey shook her head. "No," she said softly. "We can’t." She met Master Horn’s eyes with renewed strength. "We can’t."
Corran smiled and pulled her into a tight hug. "That’s my apprentice," he said proudly, stroking her hair as she clung to him, grateful for the warmth and safety his arms offered.
Luke cleared his throat, and Lainey was suddenly reminded of the other people in the room, and that an explanation was in order. Thankfully, Master Horn took the initiative, allowing Lainey to remain where she was. "We found out why Lainey’s life was spared," Corran announced. "The killer uses a coin toss to determine his victim’s fate, heads you die, tails, you’re frozen. Lainey’s former Master’s credit chip toss ended up being tails, consequently saving Lainey’s life."
"Credit chip tossing so random," Mara said finally, releasing a squirming Ben to the floor. "I’m surprised he honors the outcome."
"Of course he does," Corran commented. "Sociopaths have a certain code of ethics they follow. I caught one guy who would brutally rape and kill women or small, frail men, but he would never take anything that didn’t belong to him." He took a deep breath. "I’d like to go out to Mantooine to investigate, Master Skywalker."
Lainey froze, a terrible fear clutching her chest. "Master!" she gasped, moving away from him to look at his face. "You can’t!"
Luke rose to his feet, clasping his hands behind his back. "She’s right Corran, you can’t. Not until we have more information anyway." His lips set into a firm line. "I can’t risk sending anyone in there blind."
"But we’ll be blind until we investigate," Corran argued.
"Yes, but that does not mean you need to go. I was planning on asking the NRI to look into it, with maybe a couple of my Knights to accompany them." He paused. "I think he targets Masters and apprentices, and Lainey certainly isn’t ready to go with you - or have you leave her."
Corran glanced at Lainey who flushed and took a sudden great interest in the far wall of the apartment. He grabbed the back of her neck and nodded to Luke. "You’re right of course, Master Skywalker," he said after a moment. Then he remembered a question that had been floating around in his mind since he got a glimpse of Lainey’s memory. "Lainey?" he asked.
Lainey turned to look at him, her hand once again toying with her braid. "Yes, Master?"
"The killer called you... Padawan, or the Padawan, that’s not your name, is it?"
Lainey stared at him, trying hard not to laugh. Was he serious? "Master," she said finally, an odd twist between a smirk and a smile forming on her lips. "It’s a title, meaning: Jedi apprentice."
"Oh." Corran gave her an odd look. "That’s what I thought."
Copyright 2002 by Luney.
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