The author would like to acknowledge the genius of Neil Peart, who acknowledges the genius of Ayn Rand, who acknowledges the genius of Ayn Rand.
"And the meek shall inherit the earth."
Oh, I've taken care of everything
Established that I am king
And you have no say whatsoever here.
It's one for all and all for me
And that's the way that it will be
All because I've lived here since last year.
I am the god of room 1006
And you must obey
Every last command.
I am the god of room 1006
Can't you see I want to
Be just like Ayn Rand?
You moved here; don't wonder why
Equality does not apply
Just be ready to jump to my call.
Oh, what a nice idyllic life
We have no need for hate and strife
Not as long as I can feel tall
I am the god of room 1006
And you must obey
Every last command
I am the god of room 1006
Can't you see I want to
Be just like Ayn Rand?
What can that strange high-pitched noise be?
Guess it's the phone. It's mom again.
What could she want now? I just called her.
She calls me like this too often.
So I walk over to the phone,
Sigh, and turn down my music.
Answer and say, "Hello again."
I hear a pause, and then a click.
I can't wait to get out of here
And step out into the light
Throw my stuff into a backpack
Because I'm going home tonight
THE ROOMMATE:
I know it's most unusual
To have something to discuss
My friend had called here yesterday
And said that she'd been cussed
ME
Of what are you speaking?
I do not have a clue.
I do not use such language.
That concept, to me, is new.
THE ROOMMATE
Yes, I know, you'd never say
"What the hell do you want?"
But my friend would never lie
As seems to be your wont.
While on friends, yours are rude.
One called to talk to you.
She assumed that I would forget.
Like that I'd ever do.
ME
I can't believe you're saying....
These things just can't be true.
As I said, I do not swear.
She might have been confused.
My friend does not know you.
Don't judge her so harshly.
But, then again, you've judged me, too,
When you don't even know me.
THE ROOMMATE
Don't annoy me further!
I don't care for your view.
You're no more than average.
What use have I for you?
I don't want to talk to you,
Or want to be your friend.
Remember, you have no say here.
I will triumph in the end. YEAH!
I walked to math through silent streets.
Inside me, all was burning heat.
But as I sat all through the class
The answer came to me at last...
I stand inside our messy room.
It feels just like I'm in a tomb.
She storms inside and slams the door.
I know I can't take any more.
I see that something must be done
Because she's like a loaded gun.
I see the time has finally come
To take my stand. I'm not so dumb!
You have been driving me insane!
You have become my biggest bane.
You think that you can do no wrong.
Well, this is not where you belong.
I want you to get out of here.
Get out NOW!!
The sleep is still in my eyes.
The dream is still in my head.
I heave a sigh and sadly smile
And wish I were in bed.
I wish that it might come to pass
Not fade like all my dreams.
Just think of what my life might be
In the life that I have seen.
I don't think I want to stay,
Stay inside this cold and empty room. Oh, no!
My spirits are low, in the depths of despair.
My life here
Is over.
Attention all R.A.'s of the Campus Federation. We have another room change.
This is dedicated to anybody who has ever had a bad roommate experience.
Copyright 1995 by Kelly M. Grosskreutz.
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